It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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