Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
