it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
