i may or may not be watching the land before time
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
