I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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