We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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