Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
