Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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