Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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