How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
