Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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