Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
