It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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