Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
