Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
