can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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