Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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