Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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