He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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