Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I deserve this hangover.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
