no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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