it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
