He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
