Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(228): I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls. http://tfl.nu/frla

Replies (7) Good night (1792) Bad night (996)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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(610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr

Replies (7) Good night (3700) Bad night (899)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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(401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl

Replies (20) Good night (1564) Bad night (5428)
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(519): View more from Ontario

mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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(519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7

Replies (7) Good night (4049) Bad night (1177)
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(347): View more from New York

CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS

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(347): CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS http://tfl.nu/kzom

Replies (27) Good night (4040) Bad night (1457)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day

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(513): Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day http://tfl.nu/hc9r

Replies (3) Good night (2683) Bad night (913)
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(317): View more from Indiana

He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...

(1-317): View more from Indiana

He's the fucking cop whisperer.

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(317): He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him... (1-317): He's the fucking cop whisperer. http://tfl.nu/3vvt

Replies (25) Good night (11462) Bad night (1159)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.

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(651): If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches. http://tfl.nu/ldak

Replies (13) Good night (1394) Bad night (2506)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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(919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4

Replies (3) Good night (899) Bad night (1466)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

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(204): we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please. http://tfl.nu/1hgr

Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (1252)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.

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(985): I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic. http://tfl.nu/92jk

Replies (2) Good night (776) Bad night (719)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"

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(412): Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her" http://tfl.nu/6lbz

Replies (5) Good night (828) Bad night (478)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.

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(828): We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it. http://tfl.nu/17vl

Replies (5) Good night (1784) Bad night (451)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?

(602): View more from Arizona

Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.

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(602): Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP? (602): Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know. http://tfl.nu/k0wt

Replies (3) Good night (555) Bad night (501)
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(432): View more from Texas

Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?

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(432): Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"? http://tfl.nu/bsum

Replies (10) Good night (414) Bad night (769)

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