i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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