Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
New York to be Host to Americaâ€™s Biggest Singles Event
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Kylie Jenner Wasnâ€™t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar