u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS