positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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