I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
