She said her name was "party"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
