just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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