Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
