so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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