you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
