remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
