she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
