Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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