I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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