That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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