Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
