where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
