the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will be naked everywhere
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
