did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
