doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
