If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
