who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
