Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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