i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
