you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
