then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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