Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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