Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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