I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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