vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
