Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize