she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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