She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
