I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
