i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
