I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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