ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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