He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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